Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
