At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
