you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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