is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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