WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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