he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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