3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
