wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
3 2 1 whiskey
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
