whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
