There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
