i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize