Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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