so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
