I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
