Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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