Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
