i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I wear drunk well.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
