somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
How external is "for external use only"?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
