I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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