I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
