Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Well I just put wine in my tea
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
