We won't sleep together?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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