I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
false alarm, still single
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
