wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
pray to the hookup gods
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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