marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
