i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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