Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
