Porn is love you can see.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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