I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
