The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
