I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Blood and glitter go together right?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
