And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize