So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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