new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
