Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize