I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
