I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
