The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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