did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
