They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
