so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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