I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
