i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
