I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
