What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
