So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
