I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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