even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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