Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
