D3 body, D1 cock
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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