She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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