I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
