We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
