i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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