I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
