David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
