the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
