i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
