they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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