New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
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