I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
