If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
